So, you are a valued employee, perhaps one of the key members of staff.
You're coming up to the biggest deadline you've had for many years, literally a make or break project for your company, and your bosses rely heavily on you to deliver your very best with this project.
How do you prepare? Study the parameters of the project, run through different scenarios and prepare to the very best of your ability, and then get a good nights sleep so that you can truly shine and deliver the next day?
His team, the Detroit Tigers, for so long in complete control of the AL Central but now hobbling towards the finishing line ferociously chased by the resurgent Minnesota Twins, went into the last 3 game series of the regular season against the White Sox 2 games ahead in the standings on Friday.
After a dismal 0-4 performance in game 1, where he left 4 runners on base, did Miguel, in all his wisdom, decide that the best preparation for the incredibly crucial game 2 (as the Twins had won their first game it was now a 1 game lead in the AL Central) was to take extra BP and some film studying of next game's opposing pitcher, the rejuvenated Freddy Garcia who had re-discovered his lethal forkball?
Ehh, no.
He thought the best way to prepare was to go to a nearby hotel, where some friends were staying. Friends who happen to play for the WHITE SOX, the series opponent and the team standing between the Tigers and a playoff spot.
He staggered in to his Detroit house at 5am the next morning, talking so loudly on his mobile phone that he woke up his young daughter and wife Rosangel. Rosangel was understandibly less than impressed, and heated tempers on both sides ended up with Miguel being picked up by Detroit's finest.
You see, not only did he fraternise with the opposing team, he also decided that his preparation would be best suited by getting ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED. After making his way home, having a row with his wife, dealing with the police and transported to the station, he was then finally tested for blood alcohol level. A guess is that this happened probably at least an hour after he finished drinking, assuming that he left after he finished his last drink.
So, around 6am, 13 hours before probably one of the most important games in his career and certainly the most important one since becoming a Tiger, Cabrera has a blood alcohol level of .26.
To put that into perspective a little, the legal limit to drive in Michigan is .08, the same as in the UK. In Sweden the legal limit is 0.03, whereas the limit for Drunk Driving (the more serious offence) is .1.
Michigan police has a policy to send anyone to the hospital if they test at 0.35 or higher. Considering that rule of thumb is that you sober up by 0.01 per 40 mins after you stopped drinking, Cabrera probably was very close to this level during his night of "celebrations".
As the cherry on the pie, Cabrera, who wasn't arrested but merely removed from his house at his and his wife's request, finished the evening (or in this case morning) by being picked up by the Tigers General Manager Dave Dombroski. That must have been a pleasant ride.
Despite all his pre-game preparation, amazingly Cabrera did not raise his game against the White Sox, finishing game 2 with another 0-fer game, this time leaving 6 runners on base. He also managed to kill the best chance the Tigers had, when 3 runs behind in the 7th and 2 runners on when he meekly hit into a double play.
Cabrera, who is a catholic also practices a religion called Santería, and he became a high priest, or a Babalao in 2006. Babalao roughly translates to "wise man".
Time to hand back that robe, Miguel, wise man you are not.
Now, if I showed up to my office on one of the most important days of the year still drunk and blowing a presentation for a big deal, I'm certain that would possibly endanger my future employment with my company. Then again, Miguel is guaranteed $150m over the next 5 years, so I guess the incentive might be a little bit less for him. Although you have to wonder what his team mates, front office and fans think about him.
Finally, as if Miguel's behaviour couldn't be more exemplary, another story has emerged today. Apparently Cabrera, in a previous incident at the same hotel as Friday's "prep-fest", taunted a 15 year old boy about his weight issues and then challenged the boy and the people around the table to "take it outside".
Now, here in the UK there's a chant used on the football terraces whenever the opposition has a somewhat less than athletic looking player:
Who ate all the pies?
Cabrera has eaten more than his share of pies over the years, in fact so much that the Tigers moved him from third base to first as his range had diminished to the point where he was a big liability defensively.
In 2007 the discussion in the majors was if Cabrera could join A-Rod in the $200m contract club, but one AL Executive said:
His weight is a major issue
Clearly Miguel has worked at losing a little of his voluminous body, but only in a world of 400 lb people would he be called slim.
In tonight's one game pennant play-off at the Metrodome, I'd say that my heart lies with the Twins, but I also know that the Tigers would probably put up a better challenge for the Yankees.
Miguel, you have one shot tonight. Time to put up or shut up. Or to quote Marshall:
Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
The ball's in your court.
