Love/hate relationship

Being a relative newcomer to baseball (7 years) and as a Red Sox fan (almost 6 years), plus not being a Boston native, I have yet to develop the “standard” love/hate relationship to the Red Sox that many long time fans seem to have. At least those who became fans prior to 2004.

When I started following the Sox in 2002/2003, the general atmosphere was one of extreme loyalty, but also combined with the somewhat fatalistic view honed by decades of nearly-rans.

Sure, the Sox are great in June-July, but come September they’ll slump.

As I was not following baseball during most of the horrible 86 years between 1918 and 2004, (apart from witnessing my own obvious horror show hosted by Aaron Boone at 5am one October morning in 2003) I have had to understand history by reading many a book on baseball and the Red Sox. It is painfully obvious that being a Red Sox fan prior to 2004 was like being a sucker for punishment. Every opening day was filled with new belief, but also a little bit of trepidation of the inevitable letdown that will come at some point. You would love the Sox, but they would also break your heart every year.

Personally, the City of Boston nowadays holds a similar emotion in my psyche. Boston is without a doubt one of my favourite cities in the world. One snowy February night 5 ½ years ago I proposed to my then girlfriend there, and for years that amplified my attraction and love for Boston. Finding out years later that some horrible things affecting me personally had happened in the very same city shattered my love for Boston. I struggled very much just watching my beloved Sox on television, knowing what Boston now represented for me, looking in the crowd on the TV feed for people I loathed, and loathing even more that people I hated with a passion were also supposedly Red Sox fans.

How could I reconcile these conflicting feelings in my head? How could I love the Sox while having such a love/hate relationship with the concept of Boston itself. Only then did I realise a little what the long time Sox fans had been going through. Falling in love with the Sox, only to have your heart shattered. I truly felt like a “proper” Red Sox fan….

Today the atmosphere is very different. I returned to Boston, found love again, not only for the city, but also for people there. Like my love returned and healed my heart, Bostonians now encounter different emotions for the Sox than before.

8 games behind the AL East top? Doesn’t matter, we can catch them!

As strange as it might seem, there are young Red Sox fans who think that the team always wins in the end. There are new “fans” that came to the Nation after the 2004 glorious (yet for me personally with hindsight very difficult) win, certain people without any baseball interest paying fortunes for World Series tickets so that they can say “I was there”. Whilst I’m of course happy that people flock to the gorgeous temple that is Fenway, like with any other successful team there will be bandwagon jumpers (see: Manchester United). Although I do not feel that the pink B caps are an abomination like Kristen does in her great Basegirl blog, (in fact I got my girlfriend a pink cap – sorry…), I feel more annoyance towards the bandwagon fans who think the Sox will do no wrong.

Similar to my personal life where I am now a little bit guarded, I follow the Red Sox with a smidgen of concern, knowing how fragile a team ultimately is. A season ending injury (god forbid) to Lester or Beckett would have serious effects on any post season chances.

However, I still find myself opening up and allowing old battle scars to fade, knowing that life will go on even if the Sox lose, but life will be just that little bit better if they do win.